More and more, as educators we hear about children feeling uncomforable in their own skin while at school. For the last 18 years in my work as Admissions Director at our school, I have noticed a trend in the post covid era where prospective parents talk to me about their children’s school anxiety. I always encourage these parents to come and take a look at how our classrooms are different. I see it every day; students growing to feel more and more comfortable being themselves. I love that our new Head of School, Jeff Waxman, with fresh eyes, sees what I see. We are lucky. ~ Suzanne Lawson
A massive blacktop area, probably the size of an Olympic swimming pool, sat next to a grassy field that was even bigger. All around the blacktop was a curb that stood a few inches above the hard surface. Every day, hot or cold, sunny or dreary, that curb was my zone.
At eight years old, I had just moved to a new school in the middle of the school year. I didn’t know anyone, and I was painfully shy. For that second half of the year, every day for five months, for the whole 45 minutes of recess, I balanced on that curb and slowly walked, circling the playground, listening to the sounds of laughter or arguing, a game of chase, a teacher, an airplane. I walked clockwise, usually, but sometimes, to mix it up, I would change directions.
No one was particularly mean to me, but no one seemed to notice me, or take me under their wing either. Invisible, I was left to fend for myself. Being shy, that was fine by me, but deep down, it made me question my value.
On top of that, I was a little bit chubby, no real athletic ability, and consistently the very last one to be picked for any team sport at PE. The PE teacher actually had (and used) an unkind nickname for me.
Twenty years later in my teacher training to become a Montessori teacher, I recall one of our instructors pointing out that oftentimes, we as teachers unconsciously “choose” the age of the students we wish to teach, who we resonate with, based on where we struggled as a student in school. It was a lightbulb moment for me as I was working on my Masters in Elementary Education. Perhaps a part of me came back to right those wrongs of so many years before.
As a teacher, I made it my work to see every child. It was important to me to know them well, in every aspect – academically, socially, emotionally… I knew their likes and dislikes, preferences and tendencies, and strove to help each one of my students overcome fears or reach a new goal. I wanted them to love school, to learn, to have fun and most importantly to fit in.
At Bridgeview Montessori School, one doesn’t have to look hard to find kindness, compassion, belonging, laughter, friendship and camaraderie. As Head of School, it’s just outside my door: in the art room where a student helps another one struggling to push in their chair in the hallway watching a Children’s House student help a classmate fit their boot into their cubby; or on the playground watching a child spontaneously hug their friend as they arrive at the gate for school. A parent said recently: “We often joke that Bridgeview is a quirky kid’s paradise — somehow, everyone seems to fit in.” I couldn’t agree more.
Our staff does an amazing job of helping students to feel comfortable, welcome, seen, and understood. Faculty and teachers are acutely aware of their status as role-models and the children are lucky enough to witness a demonstration of “how to be” in relation to each other, by the adults in their midst.
The core values of Bridgeview Montessori School include holding community close by encouraging peace and kindness, through listening to every voice, and by encouraging mindfulness and stillness.
The ethos of the school is truly being lived out every day.
Do we have our moments where someone feels sad? Yes.
Are there times when someone is misunderstood or disrespected? Absolutely.
We are a school family. Every family is a group of sensitive, fallible, insecure, unsure, delicate human beings, equipped with big feelings and often, a lack of information. Hurt and pain are unavoidable.
But the good news is, when feelings get hurt, our students know what to do. We comfort each other. We tell a teacher. We say “no! I don’t like that!” The adults offer a hug, a listening ear, a sip of water, or a Band-Aid. We are all striving to become more aware, to do better – all of us.
In October our staff had an excellent Professional Development Day with Melissa Alves, our Learning Specialist. It was a deep dive into brain chemistry and wiring, exploring how we all can become dysregulated (adults too!), and how we all have opportunities in every moment to become aware and recalibrate. We identified new skills and dusted off old ones. It was a terrific day for all of us.
I have visited all of our classrooms during the morning work cycle, spent time eating lunch with Children’s House students, done playground duty with all of our programs, and visited before and after care. I have observed in Music, Art Studio, Art History, Spanish and Fitness. I ate dinner with the 6th Years at their 6th Year sleepover. Over and over again I observe kindness. And respect. And maximum effort. And camaraderie. And fitting in. We are living our mission, and our Montessori philosophy. Staff offer a balance of loving kindness, humor, wit, grit and high expectations. We are all VERY clear on the part we play in the delicate interaction between the child, the adult and the classroom/school environment.
At Bridgeview Montessori School we see every child. We are listening. We are here. No one is wandering the edges of the playground questioning their value. I am so proud to be Bridgeview's Head of School, where every voice matters and where students of every age are becoming important members of their school community and discovering how to be their authentic selves, one interaction at a time.